Learning to Trust

So many times a day we are given the opportunity to trust in Christ, others, and ourselves. This can be of conscious or unconsciously.

An example of trust (maybe more out of desperation) is something that happened to me this morning. As usual, I sleep a little later than I should've and then I go on with my regular morning routine and am ready to hit the road at about 7:20. I get in my car just to find the 'fill gas tank' light start shining in all it's wonder. Now I have 2 gas stations right by my house but one is going the opposite way that I need to go to get to school and the other just has bad gas for your car, but I chose not to go to either one of those and go to a gas station on the way to school but about 10-15 minutes away(depending your speed and who you're behind). Once I passed up both of those gas stations I thought to myself "This is going to be embarrassing. Why do I do this to myself?". I'm still kind of wondering about the last question… Anyways, I'm driving in my little white car and the whole time I'm staring down the gas o'meter (or whatever it's called) and barely watching my surroundings. As I watch the little hand cover the empty line I start freaking myself out and start praying frantically to God to put just enough gas to make it to the station. When I finally reached the home stretch I became a little less worried and started thanking God. After I parked my car at the pump I let out a huge sigh of relief and started digging out my money for the gas and for some chocolate milk as a treat for surviving. ;) 

Although that happened, it was a good, adventurous morning, but I don't wish that upon myself again. I forced myself to trust that I was NOT going to stop randomly in the road and that I would actually make it to my destination. Although I forced myself to trust, I was lacking hope and faith. I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to make it but I had to trust that God would either bring me there without stopping or that I would run out of gas safely in a convenient place to stop and ask some favors of nice people. If that makes sense?

For some, trusting is not an easy thing to do. Whether through experience or just because you're protective of yourself. Others, sometimes, don't have that same problem and can trust others within 30 minutes of knowing them. I, personally, fall in-between both of those. I'm actively discerning who to trust and who not to trust with my feelings while sometimes I'll just open up to anyone who asks. I'm still very cautious of what I say, though.

Trusting people can be very difficult and very much a risk because they are constantly changing and can be friends with one person one day then the next day enemies. That's just an example. It's all so complicated. But what I've learned, totally through experience, is that even though the majority of the people you meet you can't trust, that there is always God who is waiting for you to trust in Him. God is constant, never changing. We are born with that desire to become intimate with someone and trust them with our whole life because God made us for Him, and in Him should we entrust everything to. 

I'm not saying these things because I trust perfectly; rather, I'm saying these things because I fail over and over again in trusting God and thinking sometimes that where I am He just can't grasp me and what I'm going through. I always find myself getting so stressed during the day with my busy schedule and wondering about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING and what I can do with this, etc. All the while, tending to forget that God has it all under control and that He wants me to quit stressing myself out and just lay back and be in His presence.  Most of the time, everything I was ever worried or stressed about ended up either working out or not working out for the better of me. 

I'm still having so much difficulty with trusting God fully. So many times have I prayed that I offer my all to Christ, yet I don't think He can help me during this situation or whatever it is. I long for that perfect trust but without the Trinity, in no way can I attain that.

I went to the Sacrament of Reconciliation 2 days ago and the main point Father had for me was to TRUST. And not just trust a little bit but trust everything to Him -past,present,future. It was crazy how much I needed that said to me. Even though I still get caught up in my everyday life and my future, I'm trying to take deep breaths and just smile. (Which I have found that I haven't been smiling a lot lately.?!) Another thing that helps me maintain a calm state of mind is morning prayer. It's crazy how much that changed the way I view my day. God's good, that's all I can say. (A little rhyme there;) )

The key point is: No matter what you're going through or what you already went through God KNOWS everything. Look towards God for clarity, peace, and trust. The weight will be lifted off of your shoulders, by the crucifixion of Christ, if you put everything at the feet of Jesus. He will take care of His beloved.

--"What God wants of you... is that you should live each day as it comes, like a bird in the trees, without worrying about tomorrow. Be at peace and trust in divine Providence and the Blessed Virgin, and do not seek anything else but to please God and love him. There is an unshakable truth, a divine and eternal axiom, as true as the existence of the one God(would to God I could engrave it on your mind and heart!): "Seek first the kingdom of God and his justice and all the rest will be added unto you." If you fulfill the first part of this declaration, God, who is infinitely faithful, will carry out the second; i.e., if you serve God and his holy Mother faithfully you will want for nothing in this world or the next."--
     St. Louis de Montfort

Jesus I trust in You
Jesus I trust in You
Jesus I trust in You

"Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." 
- Matthew 6:8

God Bless You:)
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