Not Just Simply Waiting

In a world full of instant gratification, in a world full of “me” and “now”, no wonder people don’t find the point in saving themselves for their future spouse.

For a fact waiting is not easy. When you’re waiting you are uncertain of maybe what/whom you’re waiting for or even more so if you’re even waiting for anything/anyone.

- Although, I’m not just simply waiting.

I’m not waiting for the day I meet my husband (or come to realize who God has planned for me if I’ve already met him) to love him. I’m not just simply waiting to share my first kiss with my husband upon the sacred altar. I’m not just simply waiting to give myself to my husband after being declared “husband and wife.”

I’m not just simply waiting.

However, in this time that I am indeed waiting, I am also striving.

I’m striving for the best for myself as well as for my husband and for our future marriage (and even our kiddos).

I don’t want to just simply wait as in living in the absence of someone, but rather wait as in striving for the greater glory and holiness for someone (including myself).

You see, I don’t perceive this time in my life as incomplete or not fulfilled just because I’m single. I know for a fact that the beginning of my life will not be my wedding day, that my husband cannot ultimately fill the desires of my heart and that Christ is the ultimate Lover. If man seeks woman for his ultimate fulfillment, he ends either addicted or emasculated. He must seek God in her, and through her find Him (Donaghy).

Although, let’s not take for granted that through the vocation and Sacrament of Marriage we are leading each other to Christ and to His heavenly Home. My husband is my “big” vocation - my ultimate calling to love. 

“The passion of man and woman in God’s plan is meant to be an icon, an earthly sign that points us beyond itself to our eternal destiny of union with God. But when we lose sign of our destiny, when we lose sign of union with God as our ultimate fulfillment, we begin to pin all hopes for happiness on the earthly image. The icon then degenerates into an idol.”

Saint Therese said “At last, I have found my vocation; my vocation is love!” And isn’t that every single person’s vocation? You don’t have to be in a convent, or even be cloistered, to love. You don’t have to be married and have 5 children to love. You don’t have to be single and ready to mingle to love.

Love God, love others, love yourself and you’ll see that you won’t just be waiting. There is a purpose in every stage, in every form of life and it is to love.

I’ll say it again - I’m not just simply waiting for my husband, rather I’m striving for the best by loving him now.

Some may ask (as I have come to learn), “How can I love him if I don’t even know who he is?”

And to answer that I say:

A huge part of that is, in fact, 

- Saving yourself until marriage.

“First, by not having sex before marriage, you’re insisting on your right to take these things seriously, when many around you don’t seem to. By reserving a part of you for someone else, you’re insisting on you’re right to keep something sacred, you’re welcoming the prospect of someone else making an enduring private claim to you, and you to him.”

And also, by doing so, you are ultimately telling him (by showing him) just how important, how beautiful, and how sacred he is to you. And there is waaaay more Theology of the Body behind this, for a good and interesting read, study Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love by Edward Siri. I can't even begin to explain just how much - how much - there is between man and woman in this sacred act. 

- Same thing goes with kisses.

Now kisses are something smaller than the total self-giving act of sex, but that should never take away the importance and significance it has for saving them for your spouse. (I recently just came to a bigger realization with this a couple of weeks ago.)

I've always loved this picture!

“Without question, purity is beautiful. We’re not talking about repression or prudishness, but about having a confident and serene sense of your dignity and worth, so hold on to your kisses!”

By saving your kisses for your spouse you are saying that even the smaller things you are giving to him - to him alone. How much more do you believe they would completely cherish that small, but significant gift? Because I know I would.

- Pray for them.

I, specifically, pray for my husband’s love and devotion to the most Holy Trinity as well as our Blessed Mother. For any special graces that he may need at the moment as well as any growth in virtues. I also pray for his purity and that God’s perfect will will become his own and so forth.

I mean just because you don't know a person doesn't mean you can't pray for them, right? I pray for people who I don't know because their great aunt's daughter's nephew asked me to, so no harm will ever come for praying for your future spouse even if you don't know who they are. And who knows, they might really need it at the time. 

- Become the person God created you to be.

By doing this you are allowing God to be your Creator, who gave you the desires of your heart, your Lover, who can transform you in ways unimaginable and your Dependency, who fully gives you the desires of your heart. 

I mean if we think about it, if there is this one man who was created for me and me for him (correct grammar?) then ultimately I must completely give my whole self to the God who created us both for each other. These quotes pretty much sum up anything and everything I'm trying to muster up.

“You will become more attractive to the person God has in mind for you when you become the woman that God is calling you to be.”

“All beauty comes from God, and should point our hearts back toward Him. As a woman, your task is to use this gift to draw the hearts of men toward God, while avoiding the temptation to distract them from Him. Your modesty is a ministry of beauty. A woman should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to see Christ just to see her.”

 And for me, the thing I'm most attracted to in a man is his holiness and his complete and utter devotion and love for God as I've already stated in my later post. If holiness is what I desire in my spouse, and obviously I want to be attractive to him, then what makes me think that holiness is not what would attract him? I feel like what I'm attracted to is what I desire, not only in my spouse but also for myself. And by becoming the woman God created me to be, I would sure hope that the man I'm attracting is not being attracted to just myself, but Christ in me. 

I know I've said a lot, and it's probably all scattered because there is just so much to say and so much I didn't say, so you will have to excuse my lack of english writing skills. I just really pray that my readers (and myself) will take to heart that being single is a critical time in our life (as in any time) to simply grow as an individual and in finding our worth in Christ - that by doing so it will never limit us from finding fulfillment and joy in being content with God, solely. 

So to conclude: Ultimately our whole life, you can say, we are always waiting. However, we are not just simply waiting - we are striving and by striving we are doing and what we must do is love.  Love always.

God bless and Mary protect.

"Let us not grow tired of doing good, 
for in due time we shall reap our harvest, 
if we don't give up."
- Galatians 6:9

Beautiful song to pray